Little Johnny received crap presents. Little Johnny was enraged by his crap presents. Beware of Little Johnny and his letter to Santa: He suffers from conduct disorder and has antisocial tendencies. So, everyone should be a little on edge. That includes you, fat man.
Everyone remembers being pissed at Santa at some point when they were younger. Like when that awesome blue bike turned into wool knee socks. Or those new, talking dolls turned into a hideous argyle sweater. How did that fat bastard get it soooo wrong?
Well, Johnny's not going to take it sitting down. This Dear Santa Letter from Little Johnny was written on December 26th, when rage and disappointment replaced milk and cookies and blinded Little Johnny’s limited, slightly mentally ill perspective. Johnny writes: “What balls you have for leaving me a fucking yo-yo, a lame whistle, and a pair of ugly socks. What the fuck were you thinking, you fat prick?”
This naughty Dear Santa card is laugh-out-loud hilarious and is a perfect gift for anyone who remembers the bitterness of disappointing Christmas mornings. A funny Christmas card is much better than a lame whistle or dumb-ass card. Don't be the jerk who gets your friends a bullshit snowflake card. Get them NobleWorks’ funny Christmas cards and our infamous Dear Santa Christmas card instead.
As if you couldn’t guess, we care about the environment. Duh, doesn’t everyone? That’s why the paper stock we use in these cards come from well-managed forests and post-consumer recycled fiber. This card is also clearly printed in the U.S., because no other country is quite this deranged.
Shipping weight: 0.07 pounds
Dimensions: 5 x 7 x 0.1 inches