Question: Where will you use your wood, before stroking your shaft and after you've washed your balls, then pray you don't choke? The golf course, of course. Where else can people tell other people to keep their heads down and spread their legs a bit without getting arrested for sex crimes? Our favorite is listening to guys talk about a golfer's incredible length, or how to use a soft grip on the shaft for a smooth stroke - perfect way to get in the hole.
It makes sense that golf courses offer some of the greatest innuendos in history, because golf courses are where millions of people get screwed regularly. Your golfing friends will appreciate this dirty birthday card. They'll laugh so hard they will be exhausted, kind of like how they can barely walk after 18 holes.
Now go enjoy a birthday foursome and score.