Not everyone is so forgiving when it comes to receiving the right birthday gift. For example, gym memberships and weight loss plan subscriptions are not great choices. Neither is giving nothing. To avoid the wrath incurred with a disappointed birthday present, give this hilarious birthday card instead. Sure, it may not be diamonds, but it should help prevent you from being physically harmed. Remember, half of birthday gift-giving is to avoid getting smacked. With this card, we're pretty sure you'll enjoy a violence-free birthday.