Famous, Funny Birthday Quotes
"A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life."
"Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life."
"All the world is a birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much."
"Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I need an upgrade."
"As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two."
"At times is it seems that I am living my life backward, and that at the approach of old age my real youth will begin. My soul was born covered with wrinkles. Wrinkles my ancestors and parents most assiduously put there and that I had the greatest trouble removing."
"Birthday is a salty word if you're not a fan of cake and ice cream."
"Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake."
"Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs."
"For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday."
"Grow old along with me the best is yet to be."
"How far that little candle throws his beams!"
"It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me."
"Life would be infinitely better if we could be born at the age of eighty, and gradually approach eighteen."
"May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine."
"Most of us can remember a time when a birthday - especially if it was one's own - brightened the world as if a second sun has risen."
"My Birthday! What a different sound that word had in my youthful ear."
"Old age is not for sissies."
"One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell anything."
"Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time."
"Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty - they merely move it from their faces into their hearts."
"Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same."
"The heyday of a woman's life is the shady side of fifty."
"The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect everything: the young know everything."
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
"The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other."
"There must be a day or two in a man's life when he is the precise age for something important."
"There was a star dance, and under that was I born."
"Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty."
"To me, fair friend, you never can be old. For as you were when first your eye I eyed. Such seems your beauty still."
"Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come."
"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years."
"Youth is the best time to be rich, and the best time to be poor."