A Brief Greeting Card History

The Card Market Today

John Lustig’s greeting card line Last Kiss is the place in the universe where thoughtful sentiment, calculated humor and fine art collides on a single, high-quality greeting card. With colorful, vintage-inspired cartoons and comic-style thought bubbles packed with everything you always wish you could say, these funny birthday cards will have your loved ones doubled over in laughter. Lustig’s designs aren’t limited to birthday cards, though. He also creates stand-out designs to say thank you, congratulations and happy holidays. He may or may not have slipped in a fellatio cartoon or two while he was at it.

In addition to a hilarious 7 dwarves of old age cartoon card, here at NobleWorks we stock our virtual shelves with so many funny retro greeting cards that you could spend hours browsing our site. Get your pal a Last Kiss card to say “Get well soon” with a message like “How can I be so sick and still look so good?” and other unconventionally hilarious messages. Our Last Kiss holiday cards are so well-loved that they’ve made an appearance on our Christmas card blog year after year. Lustig’s ability to capture the essence of the season in a single, bi-fold greeting card is an unmatched feat in modern greeting card design. Just take a look at his card that features Santa getting smooched by a lady (who, by the way, doesn’t appear to be Mrs. Claus) beneath the phrase “Ready to get off the naughty list?”

Every card in the Last Kiss line is made with FSC certified sustainable source pulp and 10 percent post-consumer waste, so you can be sure you’re getting a clever and eco-friendly product. At NobleWorks, we do our best to help you match your budget, so we offer free shipping on every single order.

Miss You Greeting Cards

Do you ever wonder about the saints who didn’t quite meet the sanctification requirements set by the Catholic Church to make it into sainthood? Well wonder no more! NobleWorks has compiled a list of the beloved, lesser-known patron saints of the people. Slightly dysfunctional saints, if you will.  

Redirect your devotion to these naughty, but sometimes relatable, saints of transgressions and one too many beers!  

These new saints of the 21^st Century are here to bring a smile to your face, a laugh to your lips and a smack to your face if you show your local priest! Marcus the Moocher, the patron saint of the unemployed, would agree that you need to laugh at yourself and the world sometimes.

If saints aren’t your thing, why not buy a funny angel card?

At NobleWorks Cards, we're still not exactly sure what a passive-aggressive personality is really like. But if people with this perplexing personality trait are anything like the Passive Aggressive Funny Cards we sell, then we say bring 'em on! We could use lots more laughter in the passive-aggressive world we inhabit.

Whether you're looking for passive-aggressive Mother's Day cards or just for some jokes about passive-aggressive people, NobleWorks Cards has you covered. Everyone knows you have to read between the lines in life, and to fully get the meaning of the passive-aggressive jokes in our line of passive-aggressive cards, you truly have to read between the lines and make out the message in the small text that immediately changes the message in the bigger text. But watch out.

But be careful who you send these to. These cards are so funny that some recipients might die from laughter.

A Greeting

A greeting on your birthday

No other day is as a happy day

May this year

Bring the best

Of everything your way

Please enjoy this special day

Please enjoy this funny card

Because of Today

Because today’s your birthday

And because you’re my very good friend

One wish I would buy

If wishes had a price

Is wishing you could get a wish twice

And so here’s wishing twice

Hoping these greeting card wishes come true

Extra Special Guy

Extra special wishes,

For an extra special guy,

May you have the best day,

A guy could have on his birthday!

Hope you think this is a nice birthday card!

You're Very Special

Because you’re very special,

I have a secret for you,

My happiness for you overflows,

With only wanting what you’re wishing for,

And I hope all your be more like a dance,

Than a drag.

Happy birthday!

From Morning

From morning until the darkest past of the night,

May your birthday be bright,

And sweeter than ever before,

And as years come and pass,

May your happiness always last,

And never a nightmare when you dream.

Not For Show

Here’s a Birthday greeting,

And it’s not simply for show,

I want to tell you how much you mean,

Surely you must know,

In this hilarious birthday card

That without a doubt,

There’s no one better,

Or anyone dearer,

To wish Happy birthday to.

Here's Hoping

Here’s hoping that,

Today will very quickly bring,

Only beautiful things,

Because you are the most beautiful person to me!

Here's Wishing

Here's wishing for happiness,

And amazing dreams,

Not only on the day you were born,

But every day you shall see.

Turning 30

Just because you're 30,

Don't despair,

Oh my,

You won’t disappear as the day passes,

Age is just a number,

Of summers passed,

And snowmen made,

And all the other good things,

Only life can bring.

Enjoy this funny card.

Warm Wishes and Dishes

Like warm and loving wishes,

And a sink with no dirty dishes,

May you get everything you need,

Have a happy birthday.

Good Things!

May all your surprises be good surprises,

Good things are coming your way,

To make your birthday,

A most awesome,

Wonderful, day.

Please like this birthday card poem.

Tons of Happiness

May your birthday bring,

Tons of happiness,

As you give tons to everyone,

Happy Birthday!

My Wish For You

This is my wish for you,

The best a day and year,

Can bring,

for someone as nice as you,

You should only be granted the nicest things.

Happy Birthday!

Special Birthday Poem

This special,

Birthday poem,

Is being sent your way from me,

All the things we wish for,

And what new years can bring,

For a truly perfect birthday,

Now, let’s sing: Happy Birthday.

Wish You Your Best!

Wishing you,

Your best,

Birthday yet,

A birthday everyone will say,

Is too important to ever forget.

All these birthday wishes, I wish for you.

Universe

You’ve always been very special,

To me,

Please know today,

That you are wished the nicest things,

That the universe can bring your way.

You can never have too much fun on your birthday!

Letterpress Printing

Offset Printing

Engraved Printing

Printing Terms:

• Letterpress: Relief printing from raised type or imagery, resulting in the image being slightly impressed into the paper.
• Offset: A form of planographic, or flat plane, printing. The printing image is first printed on a rubber cylinder and then transferred to the paper.
• Engraving: Printing images cut or etched into the printing plate, resulting in a product with ink on a slightly raised surface.
• Platen: The flat plate of a press that is clamped or pressed down on the inked print surface.
• Flatbed Press: Either a Platen press or a press that has a cylinder that rolls over the paper as it passes over the inked print surface.
• Rotary Press aka Web Press: A press where the print surface is wrapped around a cylinder and the paper passes between it and a pressure cylinder.

Engraving Machine

Flatbed Press

Letterpress Press

Offset Printer

Platen Press

Platen With Cylinder Roll

Web-Flexo Printing Press

You know what’s great about NobleWorks? Well, pretty much everything. But also the fact that you get free stuff when you sign up for our e-mail list. Just put in your name, e-mail address and whatever fun facts you’d like us to know about you, and you’ll automatically receive awesome stuff in your inbox courtesy of us. Here’s what we promise to send you: great deals, awesome freebies, special updates and lots of loud laughs. Here’s what we promise not to send you: spam (the junk mail nor the mystery meat), bills, eviction notices and anonymous hate mail. There’s no reason not to do it, unless you hate humor and free stuff.

When you sign up, you automatically get a free greeting card in addition to the purchase of another one. Just use the code SIGNMEUP at checkout. You can use this card-on-the-house to get funny greeting cards from all your favorite card-makers, including knee-slapping lines by Urban Dictionary, Last Kiss, Weekly Word News, Ephemera and more. You can count on a crazy-impressive selection of funny birthday cards, funny blank cards, funny holiday cards and greetings for every sentiment and milestone. Every level blasphemy is accounted for here at NobleWorks, so you don’t need to worry about being pigeon-holed by standard greeting cards anymore.

Plus, all of our cards ship free straight to your door, so you can stock up on a variety of stand-out cards to have on hand all year round. Made in the U.S. with eco-friendly materials, these cards are clever with a conscience, so go ahead and sign up and get your free card, because you deserve it.

What’s not to like about these retro greeting cards from NobleWorks? SuperIndustriallove is a Dick and Jane parody gone right. Like the simplistic childhood images from yesteryear, these cards have that vintage feel but with twisted commentary that lets the receiver know these are nothing like the sweet, simplistic cards he grew up with.

Nothing is off limits in this line: Asking Santa for ass-less chaps, farting reindeer, and getting laid are all topics covered in the cards.

If your friends’have slightly twisted humor, then these vintage cards are a great match. Some people might find these offensive, but the simplest way of not offending those people is not to send them these cards! Enjoy.

To Write or Not to Write

• Writing in cursive is generally faster than printing.
• Handwriting helps develop fine motor skills and stimulates more neural functions.
• Children might learn to read more quickly and to generate ideas better.
• Note-taking in long-hand helps students assimilate and retain more of the information.
• The fluid motion of cursive writing and the connectivity of the letters in words is beneficial to some dyslexics and others with short attention spans who might have problems reading and writing printed letters.
• Cursive becomes a form of personal expression; once the basic forms are mastered, most individuals adopt their own distinctive handwriting.
• Learning to write cursive enables one to read cursive more easily. Thus, the handwritten information in old letters and documents could be lost to those who cannot read cursive.

• It frustrates children with poor motor skills.
• Some children don't learn how to hold a pen or pencil correctly—making it difficult for them to write easily; and, in some places, teachers are not allowed to correct the way the child holds the pencil.
• Most kids now do much of their schoolwork on computers or tablets.
• A great majority of written communication is composed electronically and read in some form of print.
• Email, text messages and social media have taken the place of personal handwritten letters.
• Many educators feel that their limited time is better spent teaching more important subjects such as math and language arts.
• If one has learned to print, some feel that is sufficient; there is no need to learn a second writing format (i.e., cursive).

To Touch Type or Not to Touch Type

• Standardized testing is now being done on computers in many, if not most, schools.
• Touch typing allows a writer to focus on forming and composing their ideas without having to look at the keys.
• Typing is a necessary skill in today's world for everything from email to composing documents to programing and much more.
• It can prepare kids for the ""real world"" and for the technology of the future.
• Touch typing can aid children with dyslexia and help improve memory, spelling and reading.
• Touch typing is said to improve writing quality and productivity.
• Touch typing is faster than ""hunt-and-peck.""
• Touch screens and ""swiping"" messages aren't practical for all types of devices and, therefore, an individual needs to be familiar with keyboarding.

• Kids are spending too much time on screens.
• If a child has already mastered the keyboard using their own method, whether it is the two-fingered hunt-and-peck system or some other form that works for them, why make them learn another format? As with correcting a child's grip on a pencil, some do not believe that a non-standard method of typing should be corrected.
• According to a study by Vanderbilt University, when typing and composing at the same time, typists' speed slowed down no matter what method of typing used.

Thank You Greeting Cards

Mission and Organization

FSC Certification

• The trees in forests help to regulate our climate. Trees are the main system that cleans the air that we breathe; they take in the carbon from the atmosphere and put back oxygen. The rise in greenhouse gases in the atmosphere can be linked, in part, to the loss of forest coverage. Trees also help to filter our water.
• Forests are the habitat for the majority of wildlife creatures and plants on land. Their unique ecosystems support plant and animal life in an interdependent chain of living things—plants, insects and wildlife. If the forest disappears or isn't sustainably managed, all the other plants and animals that exist within it or depend on it for what it produces will be negatively affected.
• Forests provide many of the products we use and depend on every day—such as the wood for building products and furniture; and paper for greeting cards, books, product packaging, toilet tissue and much more.

• Many old-growth trees and forests are protected, as are rare, threatened or endangered species.
• Deforestation or conversion of natural forests to plantations of a single species of tree is prohibited.
• The amount of clearcutting in a particular area is limited to maintain and protect the natural ecosystem.
• The rights of indigenous peoples in forest areas are protected.
• The use of toxic or hazardous pesticides is restricted.

What We Know About Paper

• Most paper today, an estimated 90+%, is made from cellulose fiber from the wood of trees.
• More than 70 million tons of paper products are made every year—that's more than two million books, 350 million magazines, and 24 billion newspapers, not to mention a whole lot of greeting cards.
• For the Sunday newspaper each week, 500,000 trees must be cut down. The Sunday edition of The New York Times alone requires 75,000 trees worth of paper.
• Each year, the average household throws away 13,000 separate pieces of paper each year, mostly junk mail and packaging.
• The single largest category of paper use today, about 41%, is for packaging.
• Although trees are a ""renewable resource,"" at one time, many old-growth forests were harvested and replaced by ""plantations"" of a faster-growing species of tree managed for papermaking. This limited the biodiversity of a natural forest. On the plus side, about 35,323,927 acres of forest have been certified in the U.S. by the Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) – an organization that promotes ""environmentally sound, socially beneficial and economically prosperous management of the world's forests."" Many paper manufacturers now purchase wood from FSC-certified providers.
• The wastepaper recycling process involves mixing used/old paper with water and chemicals to break it down. It is then chopped up and heated to break it down further into strands of cellulose; this mixture is the ""pulp."" After a more thorough cleaning process to remove ink and other contaminants, the pulp is mixed again with water and made into new recycled paper.

Paper Terms

• Virgin Paper: paper made from cellulose fiber from the wood of trees that is newly pulped; it has never been previously used.
• Recycled Paper: there are two types of recycled paper:
  • Post-Consumer Recovered Fiber Paper: Contains 100% post-consumer recovered fiber (i.e., totally made from what we save to be recycled).
  • Recovered Fiber Paper: Made from ""mill broke,"" which is paper-manufacturing waste, or from ""pre-consumer,"" which is unused, finished, obsolete papers (i.e. paper that never gets to the end-consumer, such as magazine overruns, outdated forms, etc.).
• Recycled Content Paper: paper containing less than 100% post-consumer waste. This paper is a mixture of recycled paper content and new ""virgin"" fiber.

Recycled Paper: The Good

• In the U.S., we recover more that 63% of all paper for recycling, nearly double the rate in 1990.
• According to the EPA, recycling causes 35% less water pollution and 74% less air pollution than making virgin paper.
• Recycling one ton (2,000 pounds) of paper products can save:
  • 17 trees.
  • 380 gallons of oil or more.
  • 3 cubic yards of landfill space.
  • 4,000 kilowatts of energy.
  • 7,000 gallons of water.
    This represents a 64% energy savings, a 58% water savings, and 60 pounds less of air pollution.
• The 17 trees that are saved can remove 250 pounds of carbon dioxide from the air and produce enough oxygen for 51 people to breathe.
• The manufacture of recycled paper involves between 28% and 70% less energy consumption than that of virgin paper.

Recycled Paper: The Bad

• Not all of our collected paper gets recycled. According to an article in The New York Times (May 29, 2018), nearly one-third of the 66 million tons of material that Americans recycle is exported. However, since the beginning of 2018, China has banned the import of various types of plastic and paper, leaving some waste-management companies with few alternatives other than sending that paper to the landfill.
• Recycling mills are known for producing sludge, which is the runoff that includes ink, adhesives and other unusable material removed from the usable fiber. Those pollutants end up in landfills or incinerator emissions. On a more positive note, recycling mills have developed environmentally controlled methods of handling sludge.
• Paper can only be recycled five to seven times before the fibers become too short to be of use. New fibers need to be introduced to add strength.
• Not all paper can be recycled. Because shredding shortens the length of paper fibers, shredded paper cannot be recycled. Other non-recyclable paper items include: frozen-food containers, foil-lined or coated containers such as coffee cups, juice boxes or milk cartons; and heavily soiled products such as greasy pizza boxes and paper plates.

What Can You Do?

Here at NobleWorks, we’ve worked hard to rein in a certain type of humor that celebrates milestones like birthdays, anniversaries and tons of other holidays. It’s not an easy job, but it sure is a fun one, and we love nothing more than to share it with you. We’ve created a unique list of dirty, funny phrases plus funny card quotes, humor top lists and other jokes for you to share with everyone you love. We’re not just card-makers, we also fancy ourselves comedians, and that’s why we’ve organized all this humorous goodness for you.

Our funny top 10 lists includes lists like the Top 10 Rules of Bacon (No. 1: There’s always to be bacon in the house, always.), Top 10 Worst Mascots (We’re looking at you, Fighting Okra) and the Top 10 Signs You Might Be A Hipster (scarf collections, etc.). Perfect for sharing with your list-loving pals, these hilarious breakdowns cover tons of comedic ground in a small amount of space. Plus, we’ve created a bunch of funny bacon jokes and quotes, funny poems, and even a funny card guide that gives away some of our best-kept secrets. Our funny cartoons gallery includes some of the most hilarious cartoons by some of the best artists out there.

We offer so many options for funny greeting cards and jokes that we just get so excited about sharing them. If you like what you see, take a gander around our virtual shelves to find funny birthday cards, funny holiday cards and funny cards that say thank you, congratulations and I’m sorry. All of our cards are made in the U.S. with eco-friendly materials and ship free to you, so you can be sure you’re getting a high-quality, budget-friendly product.

Here’s a little secret about what we do behind the scenes at NobleWorks Cards: we make jokes, and lots of them. This list of trivia about birthdays is just one way we use different cultures, current events, historical facts and more to pump out thousands of uniquely hilarious birthday cards day after day. All of these funny pieces of data guide us toward the cards we build to help you celebrate the best day of the year: your birthday.  

If you’re looking for the best jokes to write inside a card for a half-centenarian, explore our 50^th birthday trivia. Find 1996 birthday trivia or year-specific facts to help honor the birthday boy or girl in an unconventional way. Broken down by country, this list of global birthday trivia reminds us just how strange some of our birthday conventions are. Did you know that in Malaysia, gifts are never opened in front of the person who gave the gift? Or that it’s bad luck to give someone a clock or a watch for their birthday in China? When broken down, so many of our birthday customs just seem outright strange. Did you know that in many countries, people place burning wax atop a frosted cake and sing a copyrighted song? And then the person who’s celebrating their birthday is supposed to blow out the flames and make a wish? It’s all bizarre, when you think about it.

We’ve also organized this hilarious birthday trivia list by subjects like food, dates, facts and songs. It’s important that you know that in America, the least common birthday month is May, while the most common birthday is Oct. 5. All of these fun tidbits are meant to educate, inspire and celebrate the oddities of our birthday culture.