Is it Funny Ha-Ha - Or Funny Bizarre?

Humor That's Not Going to Kill Another Tree

GENERAL TERMS

TYPOGRAPHY TERMS

FINISHING TECHNIQUES

Beveling

Bordering

Deckling

Die-Cutting

Foil-Stamping and Embossing

Laminating

""Live it up! You're only middle-aged once!"" - Martin Luther King, Jr. Just kidding. That's a funny quote that graces the cover of one of our hilarious birthday cards made by Ephemera. But seriously, did you know that some of the great thinkers of modern history said some pretty spectacular things about birthdays? This long list includes birthday quotes funny enough to scribble inside any birthday card, so you can let philosophers, politicians and celebrities do the talking for you. Celebrate your loved one's birthday and quote all the greats. That way you can completely justify the overindulgence you're about to take part in.

Find a birthday quote with humor, sentimentality and celebration rolled into one, like this fantastic quote from Frank Sinatra: ""May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be

mine."" What a charmer he was. How about some 50th birthday famous quotes by Muhammad Ali? Cassius Clay himself said, ""A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life."" Other entertainers on this list of birthday quotes include Lucille Ball, Johnny Carson and George Harrison. Choice words by William Shakespeare, Robert Browning, Oscar Wilde and Mark Twain are also here, so you can certainly find a funny birthday quote to write inside a card for all your loved ones.

Here at NobleWorks Cards, we offer an unbeatable selection of hilarious, clever, irreverent and thoughtful birthday cards to honor all your aging amigos. Plus, all of our cards are printed in the U.S. on eco-friendly paper and ship free straight to your doorstep, so you get an environmentally friendly, budget-friendly and humor-friendly card for everyone on your list. The famous birthday quotes in our cards will inspire you with some additional funny things to write on a birthday as a greeting. Our Mark Twain birthday quote would serve equally well as an inscription on a Father's Day card as a birthday card, given his wry observation on the all-knowingness of youth and the wisdom of age. Whether you're shopping for a card for your dad, your mom, a sibling or anyone else you'd like to surprise with a dash of wit, with all of our famously funny birthday quotes, including Mark Twain quotes, birthdays will be better for everyone on your birthday card list.

Famous, Funny Birthday Quotes

Muhammad Ali

""A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.""

Kitty Collins

""Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.""

George Harrison

""All the world is a birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.""

Unknown

""Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I need an upgrade.""

Norman Wisdom

""As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.""

Andre Gide

""At times is it seems that I am living my life backward, and that at the approach of old age my real youth will begin. My soul was born covered with wrinkles. Wrinkles my ancestors and parents most assiduously put there and that I had the greatest trouble removing.""

Greg Evans

""Birthday is a salty word if you're not a fan of cake and ice cream.""

Unknown

""Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.""

Unknown

""Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.""

John Glenn

""For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.""

Robert Browning

""Grow old along with me; the best is yet to be.""

William Shakespeare

""How far that little candle throws his beams!""

Ellen Glasgow

""It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.""

Mark Twain

""Life would be infinitely better if we could be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.""

Frank Sinatra

""May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine.""

Robert Lynd

""Most of us can remember a time when a birthday - especially if it was one's own - brightened the world as if a second sun has risen.""

Thomas Moore

""My birthday! What a different sound that word had in my youthful ear.""

Malcolm Forbes

""Old age is not for sissies.""

Oscar Wilde

""One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell anything.""

Jean Ritcher

""Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.""

Martin Buxbaum

""Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty – they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.""

Audrey Hepburn

""Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.""

Elizabeth Staton

""The heyday of a woman's life is the shady side of 50.""

Oscar Wilde

""The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect everything: the young know everything.""

Lucille Ball

""The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.""

Johnny Carson

""The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.""

Franklin Adams

""There must be a day or two in a man's life when he is the precise age for something important.""

William Shakespeare

""There was a star dance, and under that was I born.""

Robert Frost

""Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.""

William Shakespeare

""To me, fair friend, you never can be old. For as you were when first your eye I eyed, such seems your beauty still.""

Lucy Larcom

""Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come.""

Mark Twain

""When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.""

Unknown

""Youth is the best time to be rich and the best time to be poor.""

My name is David S., and I am the artist behind the SWEET&SOUR brand. When I was a kid, drawing on any and every school desk was much more pleasurable than drawing on paper because it was naughty! I left my handiwork behind in many a classroom. These days, I still get that rush of irreverence when I draw, only now I do not have to stand out in the hallway. The subjects of my cartoon ideas are abundant, from subways to the neighborhood. I spare no one except myself, of course. I live on the east coast with my wife Sally and two kids, Flynn and Abby. Yes, they have been my victims. Winnie, the dog, is safe for now. One last thing, I did have red hair and freckles that may explain a lot!?

Offset vs. Digital Printing

• Cost efficiencies – the more you print, the cheaper the cost-per-piece.
• Ability to accommodate special inks and colors (e.g., metallic inks, Pantone colors), special paper types and sizes, and custom finishes.
• Control over the quality of reproduction of colors and images to provide the highest quality of printing with greater detail and color fidelity.

• More set-up time to etch the plates (one for each color used) and to apply them to the press rollers.
• Warm-up time to get the press up to speed and the plates properly inked, which results in paper waste.
• Additional costs to make any changes or corrections if discovered prior to going on press, which may not even be possible once the job is being run. Once the job is set up, changes cannot easily be made or errors corrected without starting all over again, thus adding to the cost of the job.
• Space to store the quantity not being immediately used or sold.

• Ability to print only the item or small quantity you need.
• Low or no set-up cost or minimum quantity; quick turnaround time.
• Individual pieces can be customized (e.g., names, addresses, etc. can be applied per piece or per number of pieces).
• Original copy can be easily updated, corrected or changed since print runs can be done as needed, rather than all at once.
• Less paper waste – the first one printed is just as good as the last one.

The Takeaway

Paper Carbon Footprint

Digital Carbon Footprint

Dirty Cards For Birthdays And Beyond

• Faster than regular mail for sending/receiving.
• Good for more complex questions, news or discussions.
• Eco-friendly, paperless communication.
• Messages, both sent and received, can be stored for later reference.
• Can be accessed anywhere there's an internet connection.
• Makes it easier and faster to communicate with businesses and individuals overseas in a more timely manner.
• Allows the sending/receiving of photos, documents and videos.
• Enables a sender to send the same message to multiple recipients at the same time.
• Easy to prioritize incoming messages based on subject lines.
• Can send messages, documents, reminders to yourself.

• Requires an internet connection.
• Open to viruses.
• Can be hacked, spammed or spoofed.
• Is not always opened/read immediately.
• Can be misunderstood and cause a negative emotional response due to brevity or lack of verbal inflection or facial expression.
• Can get buried in the volume of email received, or missed in ""Junk"" or ""Spam"" folders.
• Less personal than a handwritten card or letter.
• Needs to be constantly maintained due to volume sent and received.
• Can lead to information overload.
• Time-waster due to volume and pressure to check frequently.

• Does not require an internet connection.
• Good for short, quick communication that does not require a complex answer.
• Less formal. It's writing more like we speak. Thus, the rules of writing (i.e., capitalization, punctuation, etc.) are often not followed. Texting also has created a new shorthand language and structure, such as the acronyms (OMG, BTW, LOL, IMO, etc.) that are spreading across other types of written communication.
• More immediate. The read-and-response time is much shorter, generally, than email. Text messages get read sooner than emails, as individuals tend to check their phones more regularly.
• Discrete – messages can be written and read in public areas without disturbing others nearby.
• Capable of sharing photos and other types of attachments on smartphones.

• Longer messages are not easily composed on digital ""keyboards"" or keypads.
• Has size limitations. The SMS text-messaging structures limits the number of characters in a given message unit to 160 characters. Longer messages are broken over multiple units and might get out of order.
• Messages might be misunderstood due to their brevity and the lack of voice inflection and facial expression. Brief answers can come across as rude or curt.
• Less personal than face-to-face or phone conversations.
• Can be distracting. The desire to read a text as soon as it arrives, as well as the expectation for an immediate response, means text messages can be a distraction. This is true in general when incoming messages interrupt thought processes or prevent the reader from paying attention to what is happening around them. Texts and texting are critically dangerous while driving, and considered rude and disruptive in social situations.

Sympathy Notes

Thank You Notes

RSVP Notes

Bacon Scented Things You Didn't Know Existed

Bacon is one of the most popular smells known to the human nose. It's so popular that even the most hard core of vegetarians will begrudgingly admit that they enjoy its scent. Thanks to the widespread love of bacon some well-meaning, if not crazy, people have come up with products that have a bacon scent or flavor. Here is a list of just some of the weirdest baconated things that we've discovered.

Bacon Scented Soap

This could be a very useful product for people who get tired of co-workers and parents asking them what they had for breakfast.

Bacon Flavored Vodka

Great way to save you a lot of money. It eliminates the craving for a late night Denny's breakfast after staying at the bar all night.

Bacon Chocolate Bar

Bacon is awesome. Chocolate is awesome. If you combine the two you end up with something that is just too awesome to imagine, like Chuck Norris riding a dinosaur. Frankly it's hard to imagine why it took so long for this combination to happen.

Bacon Mayonnaise

This would eliminated any kind of confusion about what type of condiment goes best with a BLT or egg sandwich.

Bacon Toothpaste

The perfect way to keep the lingering taste of that wonderful breakfast in your mouth all day long.

Bacon Shaving Cream

It will drive the women crazy making them want to kiss your smooth shaven face and maybe give it a little lick every now and then.

Bacon Christmas Ornaments

Not a good idea. It's hard enough trying to keep the dog from peeing on the Christmas tree. Now, he might try to eat it.

Bacon Doormat

When it's zero degrees outside with two feet of snow, your doggie is still going to be looking forward to his impending potty break. Also, nothing says ""welcome to my home"" like bacon.

Funny Bacon Tattoos

Who doesn't love bacon? Bacon is candy meat from heaven that taste good with just about everything. People have an affinity towards bacon that takes on a life of its own. Unlike other meat, people don't climb to new food combination extremes. There are bacon quotes and bacon flowcharts that will make any bacon lover smile from ear to ear. Bacon has a pull on people that no one can explain. Adding bacon to a new dish always brings on excitement and gossip. Chicken isn't even a close second. There are even bacon clothing items. Stop porking around and buy some funny bacon birthday cards while you're at it.

Meat Tattoo

This tattoo could only be handled by someone who truly appreciates meat. A stroll through the meat section of the supermarket would be like a stroll through Disney Land for this meat lover. Meat always has her back.

Bacon Bleeding Heart Tattoo

The classic funny bleeding-heart design is done here, but dedicated to bacon and not a person. There is also a fork going through the heart. We're not sure if this is because eating is something he loves and the heart is the organ of love, or if he'd like to try a piggy heart someday. Only he knows.

Bacon Heart Tattoo

This bacon heart tattoo isn't anatomically correct like one above. This funny bacon tattoo has a ""Sailor Jerry"" tattoo design feel to it. Those are the old-fashion tattoos that sailors of yesteryear once sported. Now, these tattoos are sported by bikers, funny hipsters and corporate lawyers.

Bacon Love Tattoo

Make no mistake. The owner of this whimsical tattoo has a special space in his or her heart for bacon because the heart is made of bacon. No one will ask if this person is a vegetarian!

Bacon Wrap Tattoo

This funny bacon tattoo wraps around this man's arm. He must have some great bacon stories! He'll be a bacon lover for life with ink like that. Throw some meat on a stick at a BBQ and you've just made this guy's day.

Pork Cuts and Butter Tattoo

What's in this guys stomach? We'll throw a wild guess into the wind and say it's bacon! This funny pork tattoo has bacon trim under the stomach, but we wanted to save your eyes, so please just use your bacon imagination.

Bacon and Eggs Tattoo

This funny bacon and eggs tattoo can only be worn by a true bacon lover. Every morning probably starts off with a hot plate of bacon and eggs, the eggs over easy. One of the benefits of a bacon tattoo like this is that all a person has to do while traveling to another country and simply showing the breakfast tattoo if he doesn't speak the language. Or is just lazy. He is like his own, roaming breakfast menu! Maybe he even sleeps in the kitchen to get breakfast in bed.

Happy Bacon Strip Tattoo

This strip of bacon is happy to feed you. How can anyone resist that wide, happy bacon smile? This bit of bacon can't wait to be in your stomach.

Cuts of Meat Tattoo

This butchers' guide makes for a funny bacon tattoo because it shows where all the cuts of meat are. However, unlike the bacon and eggs tattoo, the wearer of this tattoo can't use it to order meat on her own as it is on her back.

I Love Bacon Tattoo

This man (or woman) isn't afraid to express his (or her) love: bacon. Maybe it's the juicy goodness of bacon. Maybe it's the ease of bacon shopping. You'll just have to ask him (or her) what inspired this hilarious bacon tattoo.

Everyday Things with Bacon

It's a fact! People like to play to bacon and add it to things that normally don't have bacon. These funny bacon images will have you telling everyone ""I love Bacon!""

Bacon Bloody Mary

If this is your brunch drink, then add some more brunch goodness to it with slices of delicious bacon!

Bacon Clock

Let everyone know it's literally time for bacon with this clock made of bacon.

Bacon Cupcakes

We haven't tried this wild combination of bacon and pastry fusion! Sure, it's not kosher, but it's not meant to be. We're sure it will make someone smile as long as that person isn't a vegetarian.

Bacon Wrapped Corn on the Cob

Smell the bacon cooking with this combination of corn and meat. It will make your backyard barbecues more intriguing.

Bacon Truck

Driven them crazy with this little heart-attack on four wheels. This bacon truck will drive into your stomach and never look back.

Famous Bacon Quotes

'If you call ham Canadian bacon, what do you call bacon?' — Ron Kanfi

'I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world.' — Katy Perry

'As soon as I learned what the smell of bacon was, I learned how to make it.' — Rush Limbaugh

'I'm not sure how healthy bacon is in general, but I know it's incredibly delicious.' — Gwyneth Paltrow

'Veggie bacon?!?  That sounds like a sign of the Apocalypse.' — Turtle Dundee

'The other week, while sitting over a bacon omelet and rambling on about how much I love the 'bacon, egg, cheese on toast combo', a good buddy looks across the table at me and utters a sentence I may never forget as long as I live: 'Yeah, because bacon is the candy bar of meat.' — Adam McArthur

'Onions and bacon cooking up just makes your kitchen smell so good. In fact, one day I'm going to come up with a room deodorizer that smells like bacon and onions. It's a fabulous smell.' — Paula Deen

'Breakfast is my specialty. I admit it's the easiest meal to cook, but I make everything with a twist, like lemon ricotta pancakes or bacon that's baked instead of fried.' — Hugh Jackman

'Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.' — Doug Larson

'Francis Bacon is one of my giant inspirations. I just love him to pieces.' — David Lynch

'We have found that morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells.' — William Taylor

'Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease.' — Michelle Malkin

'Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups.' — Emily Mortimer

'I used to have trouble choking down the pills I have to take for controlling my cholesterol, but it's a lot easier now that I wrap them in bacon.' — Brad Simanek

'You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go.' — Hillary Scott

'I'm never gonna get used to the 31st century. Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? ADMIRAL Crunch?' — Fry, from Futurama

'I do all of the grocery shopping in my little family. I buy cheese, of many different kinds, sliced packaged meats and poultry, bagels, immense quantities of eggs, pre-made fried chicken. Milk. Bacon. It is insane how much dairy, deli and bakery stuff I buy.' — Ben Stein

A Day of Bacon

Tired? Hungry? Here are some funny bacon pictures to get through the day! Can't you taste the sizzling of that delicious bacon in your mouth right now? We bet you can taste that stir-fried bacon right now despite never having it before. And lets not forget the bacon-shelled taco. Can you not taste the crispy bacon shell right now? How have you gone this far in life without even trying the delicious bacon fries or fries with bacon?