1058 Inside Text: Dear Nigel, Why, thank you! In all the millions of letters I have received over the centuries requesting this and demanding that, no one has ever asked me what I would like-until now. What I would like is a pair of pants that don't crawl up my ass when I am going down the chimney. I want stupid people to stop voting. I'd like a retirement age that comes sooner than my 750th birthday...and I'd like a dollar for every copy of The Night Before Christmas that is sold. And since you were kind enough to ask, I'm going to bring you everything you want this Christmas-despite your lie about being good all year. Manners do matter, Santa p.s. Merry Christmas.