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Funny Birthday Poems, Christmas Poems,Rhymes and Humorous Poems
Birthday Poem Verses
A Greeting Birthday Poem
A Glow Worm Poem
A Nice Birthday Poem
Birthday Poem for Him
Birthday Poem for Her
Birthday Poem for Sisters
Birthday Poem for Brothers
Birthday Greetings Poem
Birthday Wish Poem
Turning 30 Poem
Sarcastic Poem
Good Poem
Happy Poem
Cute Poem
Pinterest Poem
Sweet Poem
Universe Poem
Politically Correct Christmas Poem
The Poem of Drunks
Two Mother's Day Poems
Three Funny Easter Bunny Poems
Bad Haikus
Roses are Red
Microwave
Google Gets Poetic
Google Makes a Poem
Google Search Poem
Jewish Haiku
A Greeting Birthday Poem
A greeting on your birthday
No other day is as a happy day
May this year
Bring the best
Of everything your way
Please enjoy this special day
A Nice Birthday Poem
Because today’s your birthday
And because you’re my very good friend
One wish I would buy
If wishes had a price
Is wishing you could get a wish twice
And so here’s wishing twice
Hoping your Birthday’s wishes come true
Birthday Poem for Him
Extra special wishes,
For an extra special guy,
May you have the best day,
A guy could have on his birthday!
Birthday Poem for Her
Because you’re very special,
I have a secret for you,
My happiness for you overflows,
With only wanting what you’re wishing for,
And I hope all your be more like a dance,
Than a drag.
Happy birthday!
Birthday Poem for Sisters
From morning until the darkest past of the night,
May your birthday be bright,
And sweeter than ever before,
And as years come and pass,
May your happiness always last,
And never a nightmare when you dream.
Birthday Poem for Brothers
Here’s a Birthday greeting,
And it’s not simply for show,
I want to tell you how much you mean,
Surely you must know,
That without a doubt,
There’s no one better,
Or anyone dearer,
To wish Happy Birthday to.
Birthday Greetings Poem
Here’s hoping that,
Today will very quickly bring,
Only beautiful things,
Because you are the most beautiful person to me!
Birthday Wish Poem
Here's wishing for happiness,
And amazing dreams,
Not only on the day you were born,
But every day you shall see.
Turning 30 Poem
Just because you're 30,
Don't despair,
Oh my,
You won’t disappear as the day passes,
Age is just a number,
Of summers passed,
And snowmen made,
And all the other good things,
Only life can bring.
Sarcastic Poem
Like warm and loving wishes,
And a sink with no dirty dishes,
May you get everything you need,
Have a happy birthday.
Good Poem
May all your surprises be good surprises,
Good things are coming your way,
To make your birthday,
A most awesome,
Wonderful, Day.
Happy Birthday.
Happy Poem
May your birthday bring,
Tons of happiness,
As you give tons to everyone,
Happy Birthday!
Cute Poem
This is my wish for you,
The best a day and year,
Can bring,
for someone as nice as you,
You should only be granted the nicest things.
Happy Birthday!
Pinterest Poem
This special,
Birthday poem,
Is being sent your way from me,
All the things we wish for,
And what new years can bring,
For a truly perfect birthday,
Now, let’s sing: Happy Birthday.
Sweet Poem
Wishing you,
Your best,
Birthday yet,
A birthday everyone will say,
Is too important to ever forget.
All these birthday wishes, I wish for you.
Universe Poem
You’ve always been very special,
To me,
Please know today,
That you are wished the nicest things,
That the universe can bring your way.
A Politically Correct Christmas Poem
'Twas the night before Christmas
Santa was all out of wack
The world had become too politically correct
The workers were not elves
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
While labor conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the newly formed Elf Union, to bring an end to the soul.
Four reindeer had disappeared after going for coffee and tea,
Released to the wild, by the Humane Society.
Equal rights employment made it rather clear,
Santa had better hire more than just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
were replaced with little pigs to fill the quota
The reindeer had been removed from his side of Santa's sleigh,
Rudolph and the others were flagged as a hazard by the EPA,
And millions of New Yorkers were calling the cops,
As they heard sled noises upon their penthouse tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had workers frightened of lung cancer,
and his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened"
Santa saw the reindeer were gone
Said she'd had enough of this life
She joined feminist group and suddenly left,
demanding from now on that everyone call her Ms.
And chilling in a communist community
Don't ask about the funny gifts
Santa couldn't give fancy stuff like fur
Direct your calls to PETA for sure
Which meant nothing for him and nothing for her.
To show you the strangeness of the news that we know
Rudolf was suing Santa over the use and likeness of his nose.
He went to TMZ, and was seen by half of the population
He wanted to unionize the reindeer to collect workers compensation.
Santa’s workshop was about to fall into Chapter 11
If he got sued one more time
This meant no dangerous things
Like skateboards and skis
Someone could get hurt
Bratz Dolls were too controversial
And the new Call of Duty, some say, would rot your soul away.
Santa saw a different gift was called for.
Something he could give to everyone without hurting or offending
Every race and gender
Even those Hindus, Jews, Buddhists and Muslims could take part
Even though they didn’t celebrate Christmas
So here is the gift,
“HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS NIGHT, AND JUST SPEND IT WITH YOUR FAMILY TONIGHT”
The Poem of Drunks
Linkle, linkle little car
Who the hell are you, I think.
I'm not under what you call
The influence of balkolhall
Just a little snort of sheep
Up above the car so high
Wait, does that even rhyme?
How did that chill lead song go again
Twinkle, twinkle little mar.
Two Funny Mother's Day Poems
Mother’s Day Card: A Mom Who Does Everything (from Squidoo)
Mom, I know you do the dishes
And I know you cook the food
I know you scrub down all the floors
Even when you're in a bad mood.
And you buy the dog food
While I'm watching all my shows
On Thursday's you take out the trash
And every spring you wash the windows.
Mom, I know you're sad I'll go someday
And leave you all alone
But right now I'm only 35
So what other place could I call home?
For the Moms Who Rule (from Yahoo)
Mum, I know I owe you the world
And you deserve no less
But circumstances have unfurled;
I'm in a financial mess.
For Your Mother's Day party
I write for you this ditty.
My poetry skills are hearty
And cheap, but oh so witty!
Three Funny Easter Bunny Poems
Easter Bunny Hugs And Kisses
That cute funny Easter bunny has hopped all day,
delivering baskets for the holiday.
His paws are so tired and his nose how it itches,
He left you something special to fulfill all your wishes-
Lots of cute little Easter bunny hugs and kisses.
Easter Bunny Poop
The Easter Bunny came last night
And left this little scoop.
Because you weren't too good this year,
You're getting Bunny Poop!
You're My Chocolate Bunny
You’re my bunny;
My chocolate Easter bunny joke
You mean everything to me.
You’re so sweet like honey
With your cute button nose
And your big brown eyes.
You’re my bunny
Without the tail.
I just have to say,
I love you bunny.
A Home for Bunny
Hopping through the fields,
Not a dwelling in sight,
This isn’t even a funny Easter basket joke
Looking for a comfortable place
Where I can rest tonight.
Along comes a friend
That takes me in.
Now I am safe and warm
In a lovely, loving home
Thanks so much for taking
This bunny home.
Bad Haikus
The happy ending
Poses a question, what does
What is happiness?
The girlfriend wanted:
Girl next door type; smart, sexy
Loves giving haiku
My farts are divine.
From my ass wholly holy,
Comes the wind of God.
A cold, cutting wind
punishes me savagely;
I am always wrong
Glow Worm
I wish I were a glow worm,
A glow worm’s never glum.
‘Cause how can you be
Grumpy, when the sun shines
Out your bum?!
Roses are Red
Roses are Red
Violets are blue
Vodka costs less
Than a dinner for two.
Microwave
Roses are red
My name is Dave
This poem makes no sense
Microwave
Google Gets Poetic
Google Makes a Poem
A Google Search Poem
Jewish Haiku
Passover
Opened the door for Elijah
Now our dog is gone
Jewish Buddhism
Jewish Buddhism:
If there is no self, then what the--
Valium
Beyond Valium,
Peace is knowing one's child is
A cool internist.
Rain
After the warm rain
The sweet smell of camellias.
Please go wipe your feet
Oye, Sadie
Her lips near my ear,
Aunt Sadie whispers the name of
Her best friend's disease.
Bar Mitzvah
Today I’m a man
Tomorrow I will return to...
To the seventh grade.
Her Son
Testing the warm milk
On her wrist, she sighs softly but
Her son is forty
Blue Sea
The sparkling sea
Reminds me to wait an hour
After my sandwich.
Jewish Safari
Jews on safari --
Map, compass, elephant gun and,
Hard sucking candies
Target
The same kimono
The top geishas are wearing them:
I shop at Target
Mom, Please
Mom, please! There is no
Need to put that dinner roll to
Your new pocketbook.
Answering Machine
Sorry I'm not home
To take your call. So, at the tone,
State your bad news now.
Nobel Prize Winner
Is one Nobel Prize
Too much to ask from a child?
After all I've done?
Weather Report
Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz
Five-day forecast: meh
Transmitter
Quietly hearing
Saturday synagogue service,
Phillies and Red Sox.
Oye! Your Face
A lovely nose ring,
Excuse me while I put my big
Head in the oven.
Hard to Tell
Hard to tell just now
White Yarmulke or if it is the
Male-pattern baldness.
Tea and Coffee
Drink tea and coffee;
With the first sip, joy; second sip
The next step, donuts
Journey
The journey me
Begins with a single "oye" and
Zen is not easy.
Breathe
Breathe in and breathe out.
Forget this and enlightenment
Least of your problems
Torah
The Torah says to
Go love your neighbor as yourself
I hate being me
