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Funny Birthday Jokes

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Children's   

What do you get a 900 lb. gorilla for his birthday? ANYTHING HE WANTS!

 

Children's

What did one candle say to the other? What's burning you?

 

Children's

What do people eat in heaven on their birthdays? Angel food cake!

 

Children's

How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday? He has one whale of a party.

 

Children's

Why couldn't the caveman send birthday cards? The stamps kept falling off the rocks.

 

Children's

Did you hear about the tree's birthday? It was pretty sappy.

 

Food

What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake? What's eating you?

 

Marriage

It's my wife's birthday. She said she wanted diamonds, so I bought her the BEST pack of cards I could find.

 

Marriage

Why didn't the wife put candles on her husband's cake? It wasn't because she didn't want him to feel old, but to save the environment.

 

Marriage

What's the easiest way to remember your wife's birthday? Forget it once!

 

Old Age

I'm not that old! I demand a recount.

 

Old Age

I'm not old, I simply collect wrinkles

 

Old Age

What goes up and never comes down? Your age!

 

Old Age

You know you're old when you're the first hostage released.

 

Old Age

You know you're old when people call at 9 p.m. and ask if they woke you.

 

Old Age

Birthdays are wonderful. Statistics show people who have the most are the ones who live the longest.

 

Poor

When I was a child, my family was so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.

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